Presentation Slides 2nd draft

 

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Having completed my second draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon the changes I had made. As you can see in the images above, I felt that the slides worked well together. Overall, I feel that I have now shown enough visual examples of photographic work on the presentation slides to successfully accompany my speech. I would just like to make one more alteration to the slides, I intend to add a visual example of a Quadcopter, so that the audience may understand what I am speaking about.

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Presentation slides draft 1

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Having completed my first draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon more changes that I felt should be made. I made notes of these possible changes, so that I could clearly see where and what needed changing.

As you can see in the images above, I felt that it was unnecessary to show a slide of every quote I plan to say. I shall change my tone of voice and introduce the quote in my speech to make this clear. Therefore, I do not need the quotations physically printed on a slide. I also felt that perhaps the Robert Frank quotation should frame my presentation, by using this as an introduction slide.

Overall, I feel that I need to concentrate on the visual examples of photographic work on the presentation slides.

Draft script 9

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Having completed my ninth draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon more changes that I felt should be made. I made notes of these possible changes, so that I could clearly see where and what needed changing.

As you can see in my notes above, I have decided to add a new slide, showing an example of a quadcopter. Overall, I feel that my script is extremely close to its final copy, I intend to adjust a few sentences for example I need to be clearer when discussing Arne Svenson using windows as a tool, and I feel I can add further information about Yokomizo’s collaborative participatory approach.

Having made these changes I believe my script is ready to practice from for the Symposium event with Collective Vision in the Herbert Gallery (Coventry).

Draft script 8

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Having completed my eighth draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon more changes that I felt should be made. I made notes of these possible changes, so that I could clearly see where and what needed changing.

As you can see in the images above, I feel that I need to change a phrase I used in the 2nd paragraph, “a grey area” could be changed to something else. I also feel that the word “thus” in the second paragraph should be changed. On the secon page of my script I feel I need to introduce where Don Snyder’s essay is from, I will add this information in my next draft. On the third page of my script I need to alter the analysis of Frank Robert’s photograph, I feel I can add further details.

Overall, I think that my script is in its final stages, the changes I am making now are only minor.

Draft script 7

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Having completed my seventh draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon more changes that I felt should be made. I made notes of these possible changes, so that I could clearly see where and what needed changing.

As you can see in the images above, I have started to figure out the correct in text citation for Frank Robert’s quotation. I can see that there are a few adjustments to be made in the script, however, these are only small, such as punctuation adjustments.

Overall, the main changes are correcting the format of my referencing.

Draft script 6

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Having completed my sixth draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon more changes that I felt should be made. I made notes of these possible changes, so that I could clearly see where and what needed changing.

As you can see in the images above, I am now content with my title. I still haven’t changed the term ‘voyeuristic art” I need to change this to “art that deals with voyeurism”. I realise that the Robert Frank quote needs a correct in text citation, I shall be visiting CAW (Centre of Academic Writing) to help me with this.

Perhaps I should alter the order of my paragraphs, I think that the information about “quadcopters” should come earlier when I introduce the idea of new technologies. I can also erase some irrelevant sentences from my speech, I have introduced Lacan’s mirror stage theory, but don’t go on to expand on this. I feel this belongs in my reflective blogging. I also intend to re-organise my conclusion.

Overall, I feel that I have developed my script to a high level. The conclusion has been built upon and now reflects back on my script successfully.

Draft script 5

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Having completed my fifth draft of my presentation slides I was able to look back again and reflect upon more changes that I felt should be made. I made notes of these possible changes, so that I could clearly see where and what needed changing.

As you can see in the images above, I have developed a few choices for my title from the old title on the previous draft (highlighted in green), I was able to reflect on each title option, here I have highlighted the one I felt reflected upon and supported by script the best ( highlighted in pink). The restructuring of this script works well, on this draft and the last the Robert Frank quotation has been used as an introduction, I feel this is a great opener to my script and shows the audience what I intend to talk about.

I am unsure about ┬áthe term “voyeuristic art”, therefore, in the second paragraph I plan to change this to “art that deals with voyeurism”, I feel that this indicates and describes the type of art and photography I am discussing. There are still a few instances where I need to avoid first person, I shall change these for future.

Overall, I feel that my script is coming along nicely. Having reflected on my script I intend to also add some visual analysis of Robert Frank’s “The Americans”.